A Letter to My Younger Self: Reflections from the Man Up? Programme at Forest Bank

This letter was written by a participant of SIG’s Safe Ground Man Up? programme, delivered at Forest Bank Prison. The programme creates space for open, honest reflection—inviting men to explore identity, masculinity, emotional responses and the choices that shape their lives. Through facilitated discussion and creative writing, participants are supported to pause, look inward, and consider who they are, who they have been shaped to be, and who they want to become.

This piece captures a moment of self‑recognition and personal honesty. It reflects learning gained through the programme about emotional regulation, self‑belief, and accountability, as well as the importance of resisting unhelpful influences and redefining strength. Shared anonymously to protect his identity, the letter offers a powerful insight into how reflective interventions like Man Up? can support men in custody to challenge long‑held assumptions, rethink their responses, and build confidence in their capacity for change, both within prison and beyond.

Letter to My Younger Self

Young A,

I see you my boy! You don’t always feel seen right now, but trust me you are. More importantly, you’re going to become someone you’d really be proud of. But there are a few things I need you to understand early.

First of all, your environment isn’t your destiny. You’re going to be around different influences, some will push you forward, others will quietly pull you back. Pay attention. Not everyone is smiling with you, wants to see you win and not everyone correcting you is against you. Learn to spot the difference, it’ll save you years.

There’s going to be people who normalise staying stuck. They will make average feel comfortable; that’s a trap. Comfort is dangerous when you have nothing built yet.

There will be glimpses, people doing better, thinking bigger, moving different. Don’t be intimated by that. Be curious, that’s your way out.

I’m going to tell you something that’s going to make or break you. How you react.….emotions feel fast, like you have to respond immediately, that could be anger, disrespect, pressure, ego or pride.

Well you don’t. you can choose how you respond. When someone disrespects you, PAUSE. When you feel angry, PAUSE. When you feel you have to prove a point, PAUSE. That PAUSE? that’s power.

You never win by being the loudest or toughest in the moment. You win by staying in control when everyone else loses it.

Not every battle deserves your energy. Some situations are there to test you if you’ll lose focus. If it doesn’t build you, teach you or move you forward…leave it. Walking away isn’t weakness, its discipline.

Pressure…..you’re going to feel like you need to figure it out early. As if you have to prove something to people. Chill, small steps count more than big talk. Consistency beats short wins, it’s a marathon!

Failure is coming, not once, not twice, many times. Failure is a part of success. You only lose if you let it define you, instead of touch you.

Protect your mind, who you listen to, what you’re around and what you watch. Feed it with things that make you sharper, calmer, focussed, not just entertained.

Last and most importantly, if anything sticks with you from this letter…..you don’t need validation to be valuable.

You won’t always get recognition when you’re doing what’s right. You won’t always be understood.
Keep going regardless!

Build yourself on silence, let your results speak for you. All these attributes – patience, discipline, comfort, awareness, it’s going to separate you from the rest.

You’re stronger than you think, smarter than you realise, and capable of more than your current surroundings.

Don’t rush the process, I’ve got you.

P.S. God first!